My first blog

Hello everyone. My name is Kera. This is my first attempt at a blog, and honestly I have no idea how to do this. Many people have told me that I should write about my life because of all the crazy things that I have been through, but I never took the chance to do it. I decided that now was a good time. I think that reading my story could possibly be a testimony to someone out there that needs to know that things do eventually turn around. I want to say thank you for anyone that is reading this, and I hope you find it interesting. I am hoping to make some friends and inspire some people, but who knows...

I guess I will start off by writing about my relocation. Three months ago, on July 6th, I made a very unexpected and abrupt move. I packed up a very minimal amount of items and moved from Plainfield, NJ to York, PA. My life before that had been in complete shambles. I had been homeless for about two years (for reasons I will explain in later blogs), unemployed, and desperately hopeless. I didn't know what I was going to do. I called my cousin (God bless her) and asked if she could get me a ticket to York ASAP. The next day I was on a Greyhound riding toward the unknown. I left behind the majority of my family, my two beautiful children (for reasons I will also talk about in another blog), my boyfriend, my best friend and all of my possessions (which wasn't very much to begin with). This journey for me was a very sad one. I had no idea where my life was going, and where ever it was going, I had no idea how I was going to get there. I was a lost soul.

The Greyhound stopped in Philadelphia, a place I had surprisingly never been to, so I decided to take advantage of being in a new place and walk around a bit for my 30 minute layover. I hurried to find a Philly cheesesteak and took pictures of anything I found interesting. I take pictures of lots of things because I love to have memories I can look at. I decided to use the 6 hour bus ride as time to reflect on what I've done and think about goals I wanted to accomplish in the near future. I decided that my first order of business when I got to York was to find a job. I hadn't been working in a year (besides a three week stint at Novartis Pharmaceuticals that ended abruptly when my boyfriend's car broke down) so I was very anxious to find any work I could. Also, I was not eligible for unemployment or public assistance so I had literally no income.

The day before I left I sold my car (that was broken down and only worked for three days when I purchased it) for $200. I hated to sell it because my mother and boyfriend bought it for me, but I couldn't do anything with it being so far away. I decided that would hopefully get me through the next couple of weeks until I could get some income. Nobody in NJ knew that I left besides my best friend and her boyfriend. My boyfriend and I had gotten into a stupid argument so he didn't even know that I left. I knew that would be a very interesting conversation to have later on.

During my ride, my feelings constantly changed. I went from excited, to nervous, to sad, to depressed, to expectant, to anxious. There were many more feelings jumbled up in there and I was so on edge that I could not even sleep during the ride. Luckily Greyhound buses have built in wifi, so I could use my phone (that was of course turned off because I couldn't pay the bill). I spent most of the time texting my friend or on facebook. I was moving that nobody knew me in. A place that I was a complete stranger and outsider and at the time I had nothing to contribute to society. I felt like a complete and utter failure. A loser. Lower than low. I didn't even feel like I deserved the chance I was given by my cousin and her husband because I should have made better choices in my life. It was too late now though, I had made a decision and I was damn sure going to stick to it...

Unfortunately it's just about time for me to leave work...I will write again very soon. Until then, be blessed.